Jealousy
by blackdragonflower
Summary: A Near, Matt friendship fic. Near’s thoughts about L, Mello, and Matt as he builds a wall of Legos to bar him from reality. He finds himself stuck inside the cage and Matt helps him out.


-1Jealousy by blackdragonflower

Summary: A Near, Matt friendship fic. Near's thoughts about L, Mello, and Matt as he builds a wall of Legos to bar him from reality. He finds himself stuck inside the cage and Matt helps him out.

A/N: Near's POV

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I clicked a piece into place, the bright yellow Lego sitting clicked into a green one. The wall was getting higher around me, the wall made completely of Legos. I picked up a robot and sighed. Mello was gone, he'd left yesterday. Matt was so distraught over his loss. Mello was his best friend and now the blonde was just, _gone_. I'd never really liked the way Mello was, but I cannot lie and say I don't hold a certain respect for him.

"Near… would you like to come outside?"

"No thank you Linda…" I muttered and built the wall a little higher. The blonde girl left me alone. Unlike Matt I found a comfort in being strangely alone without those around me. Maybe I'm just afraid my emotions will hinder my decision making. I have to admit though, I often envied Matt and Mello, them, and all the other children who found friends. I guess if I just went outside instead of staying inside with my toys, someone would play with me.

I stood on my tiptoes now to place the Legos on top. The wall was higher then me now, I had barricaded myself inside the multiple colors of blocks. I sat down on the floor, knees tucked up to my chin. I curled a lock of white hair around my finger and began to think inside the sanctuary I had created for myself. A burning was deep inside my heart, along with a overwhelming ache. I half expected the angry blonde to stomp his way in here and tear my fortress apart block, by block. I was disappointed to hear nothing of him. Then, L was gone. I envied my idol too. He was so intelligent, but kind. He always tried to make the time to spend with us.

Yes, I was jealous of three people, and three people only, Matt, Mello, and L. I was jealous of Matt and Mello's friendship. I was jealous of Mello's ability to put logic aside and let his emotions take him to places I could never reach. I was jealous of L's ability to be so smart, but a wonderful person to society. I was jealous, and the thought burned at me. I stood in my Lego castle and beat quietly on the walls. I heard soft footsteps.

"Near? Are you in there?" It was Matt. Despite the fact Mello hated me, the redhead had always be considerate, and pleasant.

"Yes." I answered emotionless.

"You need help?"

"…Yes…" I saw his fingertips on the top of the wall. The fingers gently tore the Legos off my fortress, my solitude, and brought me back to reality. When it got to a point where I could reach, I helped him tear down the wall. He gave me a half-hearted smile when he could see my face.

"You okay?"

"Yes. Thank you." I pushed the wall over and it tumbled, hitting the floor with a crash. The colored blocks spilled across the floor. They were like my future here, crashed, nonexistent. In that moment I decided I would follow Mello's footsteps, and leave Wammy's House. "Matt… I'm leaving Wammy's." The gamer looked at the floor trying to hide his eyes, but I'd seen them. They were filled with a certain sadness, and that almost stopped me, _almost_.

"Alright…" He whispered out almost silently, "Near… thanks."

I looked at him curious. What had I ever done for him? "Hmm?"

"You know I've often envied you and Mello, able to make decisions like that… able to leave everything you've ever had, to a new future you don't know. And you're both so smart, it's enough to make anyone jealous." I found myself twirling hair around my finger. What I didn't expect was for Matt to give me a hug, or to admit this, but he wasn't stubborn like Mello. "I'm sure you might not think so, but in a way I consider you my friend Near. Be careful… and if you find out anything about Mello, call me, or something…" He pulled away and took a step back, looking at the floor ashamed. I raised a hand and he took it giving it a shake.

"I promise Matt." Matt walked away then, and I could hear his heart shattering into tiny glass shards.


End file.
